There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
