If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
