no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
this just has baby written all over it
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
