I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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