someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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