some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
