You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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