didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
