I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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