No more Irish car bombs ever.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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