He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize