his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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