I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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