We're facebook friends in real life
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
