I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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