the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
