he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
