I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
