If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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