i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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