I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
