remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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