I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
