alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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