You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
