I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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