I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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