she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
