i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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