Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
