i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
