It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
