Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
