At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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