so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize