Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize