If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
