I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
