he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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