You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
