people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
