He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
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if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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