Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
