Christians are straight up FREAKS
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
