the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
