I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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