First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
