Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
