My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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