I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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