Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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