I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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