That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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