btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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