Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
