This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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