remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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