Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize