At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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