The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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