So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
