If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The ass gains better be worth it
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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