nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I can't turn off my feet"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
