Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My bed smells like the plague
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
